One of my customers sent me an email pointing out what appears to be the personal blog of Thomas Borchers, right here in Roscommon, Michigan. Her reason for sending it was to let me know that Mr. Borchers had made some negative comments about me and my work. I checked it out, and found that the majority of the blog is full of hate and discontent. Overall, it was a pretty good laugh, because some of the comments/claims are SO outlandish. I wasn't going to put a link to the site here, because I just hate the idea of helping him improve his search results...but it IS the giving season, and in the interest of 'fair and balanced' reporting, here you go.
Anyway, I thought it'd be fun to refute a few of the 'claims' he's made against me, so here goes:
From November 14, 2005:
BOWEN COMMUNICATION---------CRACKERJACK BOX CARD WEBMASTER CREDENTIALS.I WILL SHOW YOU TOMORROW HOW MANY ERRORS ARE ON HIS SITE. by Tom HLCA---A Fraud WEBSITE and WEBMASTER. WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 14, 2005"
"Crackerjack box card webmaster credentials?" Now, that's just mean, though it would be cool to actually have Crackerjack Box Credentials, don't you think? Maybe they would come with the cool rub-on tattoos that used to be in those boxes. I looked around at http://www.crackerjack.com, but didn't find any way to purchase credentials from them.
"A Fraud WEBSITE and WEBMASTER." It looks like Mr. Borchers may have a problem with the Higgins Lake Civic Association (that's the website he's referring to), though I'm not even sure what a 'fraud WEBSITE' is. Is that a fake website, or a web site pretending to be something it really isn't? I'm lost. "Fraud...webmaster". Now, that part I understand. Though, to be honest, I'm not the webmaster of the HLCA's site. They manage it themselves, I just set it up for them, keep it running, and help when problems arise.
One other thing-- BOWEN-WEBMASTER OF THE H.L.C.A. WEBSITE. YOU DON'T SEEM TO HOLD THE CORRECT CREDENTIALS FOR YOUR WEBSITE. I AM GLAD YOU DID NOT TAKE OUT A LLC (LIMITED LIABILITY CORPORATION). THAT LEAVES YOU OPEN FOR TOTAL LOSS A ALL PRIMARY AND SECONDARY
ASSETS. TERTIARY ASSETS (LET US JUST SAY YOU WORK AT THE D.N.R. ) WAGES, ETC. WOULD BE ATTACHED ALONG WITH FAMILY JOINTLY HELD ASSETS. THE TUMBLING OF THIS HOUSE OF CARDSCOULD IMPINGE GREATLY ON YOUR LIFESTYLE. BOWEN--AREYOU CONNECTED TO THE d.n. //
"BOWEN-WEBMASTER OF THE H.L.C.A. WEBSITE" - Again, I'm not the HLCA's webmaster.
"YOU DON'T SEEM TO HOLD THE CORRECT CREDENTIALS FOR YOUR WEBSITE" - First, it's not my web site (sheesh, I'm getting tired of mentioning that already). Second, what credentials should I hold? Maybe that's a reference to the CrackerJack thing again?
"I AM GLAD YOU DID NOT TAKE OUT A LLC..." - Well...I am glad that you are glad that I...aw, forget it. Whatever.
"TERTIARY ASSETS (LET US JUST SAY YOU WORK AT THE D.N.R. )" - Tertiary assets, D.N.R....what? That will be fun, let's 'just say' I work at the D.N.R. Now what happens? I don't get it.
"THE TUMBLING OF THIS HOUSE OF CARDS COULD IMPINGE GREATLY ON YOUR LIFESTYLE." - Mr. Borchers seems to know a lot about my 'house of cards', eh? Yes, if if I experienced a total loss of all primary, secondary, and 'tertiary' assets, that "could impinge greatly" on my lifestyle. Um, that's not really any different than anyone else, I would guess.
"BOWEN--AREYOU CONNECTED TO THE d.n." - Despite the profound inability to master basic punctuation, I'm going to assume this is a question. That being said, I'm not sure what the 'D.N.' is supposed to be, and a google search for 'D.N.' returns just over 17 million hits. I guess there's a good chance, given the number of hits, that I'm associated with one of them in at least a 'tertiary' fashion.
If you meant 'D.N.R.', then yes. I'm a secret agent/super hero working for the DNR. By night, I fly around in a cape and tights looking for poachers. Now I have to move because everyone knows my secret identity. Thanks a lot.
From November 27, 2005
I CAN'T SUBSTANTIATE BOWEN AS A LICENSED WEBMASTER, NOT UNDER "ASSUMED NAMES", IT LOOKS TO ME LIKE HE RIPPED THE LAYOUT OFF FROM ANOTHER WEBMASTER SINCE I CANT LOCATE THE WEBMASTER PROGRAMMER'S I.D. OR AT LEAST 4 OTHER PIECES OF STATE LICENSE PAYOFFS. ( THOSE PROGRAMS ARE VERY COSTLY AN MUST BE BOUGHT AND REGISTERED BY A CERTIFIED LICENSEE. BETWEEN GRAND THEFT OR LARCENY BY CONVERSION.
"LICENSED WEBMASTER" - OK, for anyone reading this, get ready...There is no such thing as a webmaster license. A webmaster is just the guy (or gal) that manages the content of a web site. It's not dangerous, it doesn't take a double-PhD, it's just a bunch of letters and numbers on pages. I wonder where Mr. Borchers' wemaster license is registered?
"IT LOOKS TO ME LIKE HE RIPPED THE LAYOUT OFF FROM ANOTHER WEBMASTER" - Now I'm accused of "ripping off" the HLCA's layout from some other (presumably 'licensed') webmaster. I guess, in a way, I'm flattered. To think, an 'unlicensed' guy like me could create a layout that would look good enough to make a licensee like Mr. Borchers suspicious enough to throw that comment out there! I'm blushing!
"I CANT LOCATE THE WEBMASTER PROGRAMMER'S I.D. OR AT LEAST 4 OTHER PIECES OF STATE LICENSE PAYOFFS" - Hee Hee, isn't fantasy fun? The "webmaster progammer's I.D." must come with the do-it-yourself licensing kit. As far as state payoffs go...ah, hell, I've got nothing. I don't even know what he's talking about there (maybe it's in the licensing kit).
"THOSE PROGRAMS ARE VERY COSTLY AN MUST BE BOUGHT AND REGISTERED BY A CERTIFIED LICENSEE" - Actually, the HLCA web site is built on the Rainbow Portal project, which is open source. That means anyone with an interest can participate in helping to develop it, and it's FREE to use by anyone that wants it. The layout and design of the site are, indeed, my own invention (at the request and specification of the HLCA board). It sounds like a 'licensed webmaster' can somehow become a 'certified licensee'. That would be very cool, I could put that kind of stuff on, like, a resume, if I had no real qualifications or skills.
"BETWEEN GRAND THEFT OR LARCENY BY CONVERSION" - "Grand Theft" doesn't exist as a crime in Michigan...we just have 'larceny' in varying degrees. Larceny by Conversion does exist, but it means something entirely different than the context mentioned here. If you loan me a table saw, and I take it and move 4 counties away, THAT is larceny by conversion (I had permission to use the item, but I 'converted' it permanently to my own use, get it?). Anyway, whatever I did is apparently somewhere between a crime that doesn't exist and a crime that has no application to this situation...very clever, indeed!
"HYPER TEXT-MARKUP LANGUAGE. (HTML) IS COMPUTER LANGUAGE. IT IS SO PRECISE THAT MISTAKES (ERRORS) CAN NOT BE MADE. "
Um, well, yeah, HTML is computer language, I guess...I mean, I don't know any people that speak HTML. Really, though, it's a 'browser' language, because computers don't really read it either. That's a pretty minute point, I know, but he started it.
"IT IS SO PRECISE THAT MISTAKES (ERRORS) CAN NOT BE MADE." - Ooh boy, that's a good one. I bet 90% of the web sites on the web are fraught with HTML mistakes. Web browsers (like Internet Explorer) are very forgiving of those mistakes, so what we see is reasonably what the site designer intended. Really, though, if HTML were so strict, the W3C would have a much easier time enforcing standards.
This is a faked out table------IT HAS ALL THE BLANKS BUT IF YOU FILL IT OUT THERE IS NOT A WAY TO MOVE IT ONTO THE WEB. THIS IS DEAD END. NICE BLANKS BUT CAN'T BE SENT ANYWHERE. Tom
In this context, Mr. Borcher was maligning the design of a simple 'give us your feedback' form (link here to the actual form). He apparently believes that the form is just for show and doesn't DO anything. Wrong, wrong, wrong...you'd think a "licensed" webmaster would have a better understanding. Instead of my spending time detailing his error, though, I challenge you to just go fill out and submit the form yourself. Ask the HLCA something meaningful about their cause and see for yourself that the form goes somewhere.
I'm getting bored with critiqueing his comments, but I'll sum up the remainder for you. Essentially, Mr. Borchers believes obvious 'errors' exist on the HLCA's comment page. In fact, he doesn't understand that what he's looking at are javascript functions that handle errors in the form's data. Look it up, it's in the 'advanced topics' section of your HTML book.
It's true that the HLCA's site (and any site running on the Rainbow Portal) is MUCH more complicated than any HTML-only static web site. However, the site isn't part of some giant conspiracy to make you waste time filling out dead-end forms, and it's not pretending to be anything that it isn't. It's an informational site for a group that believes strongly in a particular cause. Having a different opinion doesn't give you the right to make wild accusations about people unrelated to the cause. That's just pathetic, especially for someone who's supposed to be a retired educator.
Well, that WAS fun. Happy New Year, everybody!